A couple of weeks ago, Sister Patricia Holland, wife of Elder Jeffrey R Holland, passed away. Her funeral was held in the Conference Center Theatre on July28, 2023. The Church News published a lengthy article about her passing and the funeral. I was really surprised that most of photos in the Church article was focused on President Nelson instead of Sister Holland.
First of all, I am not quite sure at her funeral for Sister Holland that the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve have to sit in their enormous red chairs front and center on the stage at the funeral. Why does this funeral look like General Conference? In my opinion, a funeral should be more focused on the life of the loved one who died and not the Church Hierarchy. Why the need to have all these men on the stage especially when none of them spoke except President Nelson who was the concluding speaker? Personally, I don't' thing there should be anyone on the stand but a large photo of Patricia Holland. She should be the main focus. Period. Even in this article there should have been a least one photo of Sister Holland. I didn't see one.
Here are a few of the photos that were published and the link: THE CHURCH NEWS
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| President Nelson, Front and Center on the stage |
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| President Nelson was the concluding speaker at the funeral. |
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| A photo of President Nelson with his all to familiar posing with his arms outstretched. |
Also, I am not sure why a funeral needs to a a CHURCH MEETING. In addition, why is the Bishop the one who needs to conduct and oversee the planning of the service? Why can't tributes to the loved one dominate the service? Why does the a member of the Stake Presidency, or Area Seventy or General Authority need to be recognized during the service?. Why does the presiding leader need asked if he would like to be the final speaker as well?
All of these rules and requirement for an LDS funeral are in the Handbook of Instructions:
From the Handbook of Instruction:29.5
Funerals and Other Services for the Deceased
A funeral conducted by the bishop, whether in a Church building or elsewhere, is a Church meeting and a religious service. It should be a spiritual occasion. The bishop urges participants to maintain a spirit of reverence and dignity.
When a bishop conducts a funeral, he or one of his counselors oversees the planning of the service. He considers the wishes of the family, ensuring that the funeral is simple and dignified, with music and brief addresses centered on the gospel. The comfort offered by Jesus Christ because of His Atonement and Resurrection should be emphasized. Family members are not required to speak or otherwise participate in the service.
Funerals are an opportunity to pay tribute to the deceased. However, such tributes should not dominate the service. A special family gathering, separate from the funeral service, is usually a better setting if the family wants more time to share tributes or memories.
Video presentations should not be part of a funeral service held in a chapel.
If a member of the stake presidency, an Area Seventy in his area, or a General Authority attends the funeral, he presides. The person conducting consults him in advance and recognizes him during the service. The presiding officer should be invited to offer closing remarks if he desires.
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In contrast, I attended a funeral for a close friend. The service was beautiful. Projected on the screen above the casket was an photo of my friend. The focus was on him. His sisters and his brother spoke. His wife and his four children spoke. The entire funeral was a tribute to him. It was not a Church meeting where a presiding church authority was sitting on the stand. No Church leader needed to be the concluding speaker. A funeral should not be a church meeting.
I post this in tribute to him. He stood up for truth and what is right. My heart goes out to his family especially his wife and his four children. He will be sorely missed.
11 comments:
I am in total agreement with you, Why make it like a church meeting? Focus on the individual who has passed.
I totally agree. I have been to far too many funeral's where the presiding authority didn't know the deceased well. At one, the brand new bishop didn't even know how to pronounce the deceased's name. It was sad.
Judy
I think you need to think about what you are doing wrong. It is up to the family to make those choices. At my sons funeral we had the Bishop in charge because my son loved him. The last speaker was his dear friend who was a councilor to the stake president. All of the people (we chose ) were friends and all the hymns were the songs my son had chosen. Do you think Elder Holland didn't know his wife's wishes?
"Do you think Elder Holland didn't know his wife's wishes?"
Given the magnitude of their priesthood egos, I'd wager he decided for her.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
He commandeth that there shall be no priestcrafts; for behold, priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world, but they seek not the welfare of Zion.
The corporate church is a very odd entity with a very strange culture. Do those men not see themselves in the mirror? What makes them believe the church is all about them?
For local funeral services, the LDS approach usually works fine. It only fails when it goes too long and/or the service becomes an impersonal, missionary style, regurgitation of the Plan of Salvation.
So glad you wrote about this. It made me I’ll to see.
"For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
So when John called the Pharisees vipers, was he himself a viper? When Jesus called them 'whited sepulchers' was he judging incorrectly? Or could it be that this simple verse may carry more nuance than you give it credit?
"What a Celestial Woman Looks Like" and there is no picture of her in the article?
I hope seeing the first presidency and apostles on the stand brought her family comfort.
Since the main reason for funeral attendance is having known the deceased and not necessarily being a part of the deceased's religious group, a funeral has a better chance of drawing in nonmembers than a regular church meeting. Therefore, the corporation has to carefully control it as a public relations showcase for their top product line (temples, eternal families, etc.).
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